You know what time it is?  Yes, it's time for me to indulge in one of my favorite guilty pleasures...WRITING FAN FICTION.  Oh, yes, that's the kind of girl I am.  Read if you dare.




"Are you sure about this?  I might blow up the building," I said, raising an eyebrow at the test.
Tony Stark snorted lightly, taking my doubts about his construction design a little personally.
"Relax, this thing could absorb a nuclear explosion.  Actually, three nuclear explosions, or four nuclear meltdowns.  In," the brilliant engineer said, shoving me towards the chamber.
The heels of my sneakers squeaked as I planted them in the floor, still cautious.
"How do you know I won't do something to destroy myself?" I asked.
Stark rolled his eyes.
"We won't go overboard.  Don't worry, we'll be very careful with our science," Dr. Banner spoke up behind him from his numerous monitors and scientific instruments.  I looked back at him and he gave a sincere and encouraging nod.
I turned back to the chamber door and took a deep breath.
"Okay, then."
I stepped inside the big square box made of incredibly strong metal and glass.  Well, at least, I thought it was metal and glass, but it was probably more impressive.  I went to stand in the center, watching Stark join Banner behind the panel of monitors that would track and record everything I did inside the box.
"JARVIS, you around?" Stark said to the air.
"At the ready, sir," the smooth British accent echoed from the speakers connected to his CPU.
"Let's get started."
The door of the box slid shut and clanked as it locked and sealed me in.  My ears popped from the sudden pressure.  A wave of claustrophobia swept across my nose but I put it aside.  I could see Stark and Banner, but more important, I could see the emergency escape switch on my side of the door.  Not a prison, just a box.
"Do your thing, May," Stark said over the loudspeaker.
I screwed up my mouth in a pinched frown.  I didn't really have a "thing", and it wasn't something easily switched on.  I tried to concentrate, but just found my brain working itself up.
"Come on, do something."
I turned my frown on Stark but he wasn't even looking at me.
"We're waiting!" he whined at me, and my blood pressure was the only thing that changed.
"Stop yelling at me!  I'm not your experiment!" I snapped.
Finally he looked up, brown eyes reflecting the light from the box.  He was a handsome devil, but Banner knew he was going about it all wrong.
"May," the doctor began, "hold up your hands and just think about the lightning."
I stopped glaring at Stark, but I still frowned.
"Okay," I said, in a voice that promised to try, but was doubtful of success.
And yet, it was stupidly simple.  I held up my hands, closed my eyes, and remembered the feeling of those huge electric bolts shooting from my fingertips and sparkling off my palms.  The strange pull of energy beginning at my heart and streaming through my arms, and there was the solution.  I opened my eyes, and the box was lit up like a summer storm.  The shock of it made me stop at once.
"Whoa," I murmured.  I glanced at the panel of monitors and Banner and Stark were having a similar reaction.
"JARVIS," Stark said at last, "analysis."
"Direct current electricity, power of two hundred thousand watts at maximum strength, power of ten thousand watts at minimum."
The data flashed up on the glass walls of the box for me to see as the computer spoke.  Fancy graphics and charts spun before my eyes.  Behind the data-covered windows, Banner and Stark focused on their tools.
"All right, May, you want to try something else?" the doctor asked.
Recklessly, I shut my eyes again and let the lightning flow out of my hands, and thought about nothing but the source.  The power emerging from my core felt a little different, and I opened my eyes to look, hoping not to freak out.  All around me, light glittered like fireworks, arcing back and forth between me and the beams of the box.  It didn't look like regular lightning.  Cautiously, I took a step forward, letting the energy dance around me.  I noticed the lightning licking across my feet and arms, and felt nothing more intense than what was coming out of my hands.  Suddenly, I dropped the idea of just emitting energy from my hands, and the light emerged from my skin everywhere.  I could feel lightning burst from my nails, my hair, my kneecaps, my teeth.
The pull on my core became stronger, but not overwhelming.  I looked outside the box, seeing Stark and Banner both staring at me with wide eyes.
The lightning stopped.
"What is it?" I asked them.
It took them a moment to respond, gathering their thoughts.
"May, you're emitting enough energy to light up all of North America," Dr. Banner said.
"It's more than just electricity," Stark said, examining his monitors. "It's a combination of electricity, light on all wavelengths, solar energy, and more, and it's extrememly potent."
I raised an eyebrow.
"So it's not just light?"
Stark shook his well-groomed head.
"Nope.  Is that all you can manage?"
He asked it without condescension, looking at me in quiet fascination.
"I can probably do more."
The far doors of the lab swished open and an elegant pair of people entered, Stark's assistant and CEO of his industries, Pepper Potts, and the noble patriot, Capt. Steve Rogers.  The captain smiled at me and I smiled back.
"What's going on, Doc?" he asked Banner, not taking his eyes from me.
"We're getting a read on May's abilities.  It's pretty impressive," Banner told him absently as his fingers flew across his monitors.
Rogers nodded, and joined him and Stark behind the bank of research equipment.  Potts handed Stark some papers and then quietly withdrew, not interested in disturbing what seemed more and more like a very important study.
"She's just about to show us the extent of her skill, or at least give it the college try," Stark said, equally distracted in his response.
Rogers looked over the monitors, gazing at the readouts, then looked up at me.
"Don't overdo it, May.  No sense in straining yourself," he said.
I resisted the intense urge to sigh.  The captain was such a kind man, to me especially it seemed, but my opinion was disgustingly biased.  Ever since he, Stark, and Banner had discovered me in that well-buried government prison, his face always brought relief.  My powerful core tingled at the memory of him carrying my broken body out into the spring rain, to freedom and safety.
"I'll be careful," I promised.
"Let her rip," Stark said.
I took a deep breath, filling my chest completely.  As I exhaled, I let everything my core could produce radiate out.  Electricity zapped off my eyelashes, the box became a blinding source of light, and I felt like my feet floated over the floor.  Slowly, a weight pressed down on my chest, making it difficult to get a real breath.  I focused, trying to identify the different energies I could produce.  Solar power flowed out of me, and I felt pleasantly warm for a few minutes, every inch of me sparkling gold.  Then the strain started to become too much, and a block of ice formed in my already-heavy chest.  I struggled for breath while maintaining the gorgeous light, and the cold overtook me in spite of the warmth all around me.  Collapsing to the floor as I heard JARVIS speaking over the blood pounding in my ears, I blacked out.

I'm watching Rear Window right now and it's making me smile.  I can relate to the beautiful Lisa Fremont who's in love with her own occasionally-grumpy camera bum.  I'm not exactly the fashionable model Grace Kelly (an $1100 dress would probably cause me to faint), but I do admire her.  And luckily Eric doesn't have a broken leg or things could get interesting in a homicidal neighbor way.


But anyway.


My parents have been gone a while, looking after Dad's parents.  Grandma fell and broke her hip, and things looked a little risky for her for a bit, but she rallied, and Dad says she's going to be okay.  Long recovery, but that sounds way better than the alternative.  It's been pretty stressful on everyone, and I think we're all looking forward to normalcy.  Soonest.


In the meantime, Jack and I have been looking after ourselves (newsflash: we are low maintenance cooks).  I also have to remember to water the plants and do dishes, Jack does trash and gets the mail.  Yay temporary roommates!  I have no idea what we'll do about the lawn, but I'm sure it'll be fine.  Sadly, it took us five days to get the mailbox open.  We're dysfunctional but functional?  Oh, well, the house is still standing, we haven't killed the cars, each other, or anything else, and, um, yeah.


Aside from our domestic hysterics (wee!), I went to the Champions Workshop last weekend with all the lovely people from Minnesota, Mike and Eve, Dee and Jeremy-Many=Names.  They were all great.  Mike and Jeremy are really fun dancers, especially Jeremy.  I danced with him twice and he likes to play.  That's so rare but fun.  Eve is very sweet, and Dee is just wonderfully sassy.  She taught us to groove, and I'll admit that I probably look like a total goof working my hips but I love it.  I need more groovy swing and blues.  And someone to dance with me to that music, but it would work alone.  We also got to watch the Heartland Hepcat and the Cowtown Cow hang out, dance, play Rock Band.  Good times.


Otherwise work is work.  I'm excited for Sunflower Swing, getting away for a little while, seeing my other grandpa, and maybe shopping?  I feel like I need something pretty to wear.  I love my new purple shoes (even if they cost me more than a pair of Aris Allens), and after learning from Mike, Eve, Dee, and Jeremy, I'm pretty psyched to keep learning dance.  I still love it.  I wish I had more time and money and ability to devote to it.  I fear the infamous game of Bases I went to over Memorial Day has done something to my leg.  Or it could be stress, I'm not really sure.  My left leg hurts, I do know that.  But yeah, more dancing.  Dance, dance, dance.  I don't know if I'll get to STL this summer, as I'd like to, but maybe I'll just save it up for Nevermore in November.


One never knows.


I wish I could dress and look more like Grace Kelly.  So glamorous, though I don't know if would do me much good.  I think I'll stick to being just me.  It's worked so far.

Ugh...too tired to blog.


Okay, that's not at all true.  I just feel like I'm blathering on a lot these days.  Nobody needs to hear this stuff.  Seriously, are you reading this?  Why?!

*sigh*  Anyway...

Apparently I'm not in enough different places at once these days.  I remember when I was a quiet girl who spent most of her time at home.  Still do, really.  People say life should be lived to the fullest, and you won't look back on your life thinking how awesome it was to get enough sleep.  Well, I'm pretty sure if I don't get enough sleep, I will look back and think I was a real jerk to people because I was tired.  And that life might not be so long if I drive into a lamp post.  Don't sleep and drive.  Tell your friends.

Um, saw the new Avengers movie and it was quite good.  I had my hangups having been disappointed with Iron Man 2, and not hearing great things about Captain America or Thor, but it was a delightful movie filled with action sequences and witty dialogue, and several attractive heroes to stare at.  I don't think I could pick just one.  Tony Stark is a dashing smartass, Steve Rogers is noble and dreamy, Bruce Banner is understated and humorous, Clint Barton kicks butt without wearing sleeves most of the time...I could go on and on.  However, the Hulk wins the funny award, and where would we be without Lou Ferrigno?

Also, I'm sorry Edward Norton, you were good, but Mark Ruffalo was better.  Learn to play well with others, Ed.

What else?  Swing dancing goes on.  I'm trying to get excited about taking more classes and getting some focused learning done, but life seems to get in the way.  So far I've missed two of the four weeks of my balboa class...*sigh*.  I want to take classes in Wichita, but I don't know.  I feel pressed for time management, and money may become an issue depending on how things go.  I'm also a little worried about Cowtown, and I'm sure the anxiety is only going to grow as we get closer.  I want to start planning but I have no idea what to plan.  Ack.  Neuroses, everywhere, in the fridge, under the couch, hanging from the ceiling.  Everywhere!

Been getting lots of book club time, though.  Sherlock is ticking along nicely, plus the new series was pretty good.  I thought the second season was a little overly complex, but they probably try to cram a lot in since they only get three episodes a season.  Also, regular book club has been a nice get together.  Our member Jen is moving to Texas so we all got together for drinks and hear all about her new house and adventures in moving.  I had a margarita and hardly noticed the booze, which means I'm either getting used to it, or I really didn't care at the time.  But I was sad to see Jen go, she's a lovely person with a wicked sense of humor.  And we had our usually meeting yesterday, and to quote Susie, we kicked it old school.  The old meeting place with a pretty involved discussion.  It was pretty fun.

Otherwise, summer is fast approaching.  The weekends are warm and pleasant, with the occasional summer storm.  Eric and I take a few walks once in a while, I leave my roof open when I drive, I'm debating on buying a new swimsuit (I don't think the old one fits anymore).  I'm really okay with summer being here, I just kind of want it to be summer for a long time.

For being too tired to blog, this has become a long entry.

Oh, boy.  I think my family has hit their hospital quota for the year.  Can we please give it a rest?  My paranoia getting a little out of control worrying about it, which is exhausting.  And so I try to suppress it and not think about it, which oddly, is also exhausting.  So I'm exhausted, and this weekend's dancing combined with a two mile hike on the hunt for a two room apartment has also exhausted my feet.


But at least Cecily and I found some fun looking apartments and duplexes, and got some ice cream to burn off our exercise.  It stormed a lot last week, but I had more issues with allergies than anything else.  The humidity came up a LOT and it was also pretty warm, so it was a familiar atmosphere.  All I needed was some Imo's pizza, a sweat-soaked trip to the Gardens, and to run into somebody at just about any business in Webster, and it would've been just like being in STL.  Ah, well.  I read a quote today that I don't remember exactly, but it said in effect that we go back to our hometown to remember what it was like, but we're really searching for our childhoods.  I can get behind that.


I should find out when Diablo 3 comes out, because Eric will be busy, and won't notice if I go to STL for a weekend.  Though with all that's going on right now, I'm kind of afraid to go any further than his house.  Maybe across the river.  Ugh, enough with the stress.  It's making me erratic, and I can tell it's making me erratic because I get way too focused on little things these days.  I just want to let it go sometimes.  


Ugh, I am SUCH A SPAZ.


Maybe I'm the one who needs therapy.  It's been kind of a rough year.  But, like my other family members, we all don't believe things have been that rough.  I mean, things could be so much worse (not that I want it to be), but things could be harder.  I think we feel like life has just been taking its turn, and we shouldn't really complain.  My grandmother passed, but it was bound to happen (I don't think grandma was sitting on top of the fountain of youth, she was never vain like that, plus she believed devoutly in Heaven, and that's probably where she is right now.  Hopefully having a nice cocktail and listening to Ella Fitzgerald while chatting with St. Francis).  It doesn't really count as a tragedy.  I think my family has this unspoken feeling that because we haven't actually suffered a tragedy, we don't need therapy.  We would never look down on anyone who does, there's nothing wrong with it.  I just think we don't consider ourselves entitled.  Me personally, why should I take up some therapist's time, when there's probably someone out there who needs it way more than me for something awful that I don't really want to speculate on.


*sigh*  I don't know.  I just want to relax.  And for my shoes to be fixed already.  And to take a day off.  

I don't have a whole lot to blog about at the moment, I'm a little wound up at the present.  Nothing horrible, it's just hard to reflect on stuff.  However, I do bring you this humorous interlude as heard at my house:


Jack: "My knee hurts today."
Dad: "Does it feel like little people are moving around in it?"
Jack: "Yes, and they are trying to cause a revolt against me with other body parts."
Dad: "Is it your left knee?"
Jack: "It's my right."
Dad: "Well, then, it's probably not a Communist revolt going on there."






Wait for it.




Wait for it.










Did you get it?!  Oh, Dad.

Oh, boy.  I meant to start this yesterday but just as I was processing what I wanted to blog about, my mom came home in tears.   Long story short, my grandpa is terminally ill.  I'm not going to talk about it much here, and certainly not now.  Just that if I'm more than usually erratic for the next month, there's a reason.


Aside from all of that, I really just wanted to gush about my wonderful boyfriend and my delightful dearest friends.  Terry has decided to go to grad school in California, and finally someone came to his senses and started dating her.  He sounds pretty sweet, which she deserves so much.  And as for Eric, he just makes me smile.  Sometimes I feel really selfish in our relationship, but he's good to me all the same.  But I really try, I just haven't got it all figured out.


Other than that...I'm getting a little burned out with all the social stuff I've been going to lately.  I guess I'm just feeling a little pressured with all the social functions, with all that goes along with it.  That and it seems like everyone I know lives a half an hour away from me.  


Okay, done now.  Blog more later.

Well, this is the first time using the new blogger system-format-thingy and I'm already bemused by it.  Hopefully I can remember what's happened in the last few weeks despite the change.  Eep.


On the upshot, I can type in courier.  Why is that not my default font?!  Whatever, moving on to real stuff.


The last weekend in March was Kaleb's mystery partay, which had (according to the invite) a Princess Bride Downton Abbey Final Four March Madness theme.  Yep.  Be confused.  I was hoping for a Thin Man theme, but that's just because I want to wear my prom dress again.  On the other hand, my costume for my character of Pvt. Yellin the guard of Florin (I AM THE WARRIOR!!!), I did work in my pretty purple printed corset, and the Dread Pirate Roberts boots.  The party was really fun, if a bit confusing.  Everyone looked awesome, we are a group that knows how to dress.  The weird part was that we didn't always know what was going on, and info kind of trickled its way to you, and I still don't know how, but I managed to be one of the winners for good guesses?  I have no idea, but it got me a new book to add to my out-of-control library.  It was also really warm that evening (when has it been 90 in March in Omaha?  Never since I've been there), so my costume worked pretty well (I decided not to wear tights or leggings, and the venue was well air-conditioned).  However, we went home after the party, and I was very glad to get out of my corset.  People talk about the great feeling of getting the bra off at the end of the day, a corset is about ten times better feeling. 

In a quick aside, in reading my book by Dita Von Teese, she talks about the small scars on her back from all the tight-lacing, and after wearing mine for about four hours, I can see how that would be an issue.  I had some pretty intense red marks.  However, no permanent damage.  I'm just a casual corset wearer...as much as a corset can be casual.

Anyway, the next week was fine.  Cecily and I have been discussing possible living spots, and apparently the townhouse next to Adam's is for rent, so at some point, we'll get out acts together and go look for someplace to live.  Or go to the zoo, that would be fun too.  But first, Easter!  I didn't do the whole holy week like last year, but I did make it to mass on Saturday night to watch Eric get confirmed.  I am fascinated that there aren't more fire issues, with the candles in the dark and such.  I definitely dripped wax all over my hands despite precautions, but perhaps the church's carpet is fire proof.  Anyway, once mass was over, Eric was allowed to have ice cream again so we headed over to Frank's house for that.  Frank also made midnight breakfast, and we watched the tail end of the Ten Commandments.  Moses parted the Red Sea, Dathon built the golden idol, Joshua Man saved Lillia again, and God smote the unholy for behaving like idiots, and it was pretty good.  One of these days, I'm actually going to have time to watch the WHOLE THING.  I don't think I've ever done that.  I either catch the first half, when Moses is cast into the desert, or the second half, when Moses comes back to Egypt and gives Pharoah Yul Brynner what-for. 

Okay, for the record, my favorite way to watch that movie is with my brother Jack.  Of course, we are probably totally blaspheming when we do watch it together.

Anyway, that week my dad also went to check on my grandparents.  Grandma wasn't feeling good, and Grandpa needed some help, so enter Dad.  He was a little spooked going down there, but everything came together, so I think things will be fine.  Plus my dad has his aunt and a few cousins nearby, so they can help my grandparents in a more immediate time frame than Dad would from Omaha.  Jack's been having kind of a rough time too, but I think he'll be okay.  He just needs a little stability and for bad things to stop happening to people.  I'm sure somebody will get right on that.

Last weekend, Eric and I went to his friend Rachel's wedding, which was totally awesome.  I don't know Rachel very well, but I make a good wedding guest.  Eric was one of many photographers, and despite the intense storm that went on during the wedding, it was a lovely wedding.  I didn't cry much, which is best for everyone.  I think Jason and Rachel did a great job, and hopefully they're on the straight road to happiness.  They certainly have a good start.

And so wedding season has kicked off.  I think I have three more, one for sure, the other two are just possibilities.  And I'm sure there are more that I haven't been informed of yet, but hey. 

Oh my goodness, where does the time go?  April's more than half over, I need to read for book club, start arranging any summer plans to be, taxes are done, Holmes's plates have been updated, and I'm sure there are other things I need to do.  Work remains its usual work self, though soon I shall a larger desk to hide things.

And hey, new shoes this week!