I'm watching Rear Window right now and it's making me smile.  I can relate to the beautiful Lisa Fremont who's in love with her own occasionally-grumpy camera bum.  I'm not exactly the fashionable model Grace Kelly (an $1100 dress would probably cause me to faint), but I do admire her.  And luckily Eric doesn't have a broken leg or things could get interesting in a homicidal neighbor way.


But anyway.


My parents have been gone a while, looking after Dad's parents.  Grandma fell and broke her hip, and things looked a little risky for her for a bit, but she rallied, and Dad says she's going to be okay.  Long recovery, but that sounds way better than the alternative.  It's been pretty stressful on everyone, and I think we're all looking forward to normalcy.  Soonest.


In the meantime, Jack and I have been looking after ourselves (newsflash: we are low maintenance cooks).  I also have to remember to water the plants and do dishes, Jack does trash and gets the mail.  Yay temporary roommates!  I have no idea what we'll do about the lawn, but I'm sure it'll be fine.  Sadly, it took us five days to get the mailbox open.  We're dysfunctional but functional?  Oh, well, the house is still standing, we haven't killed the cars, each other, or anything else, and, um, yeah.


Aside from our domestic hysterics (wee!), I went to the Champions Workshop last weekend with all the lovely people from Minnesota, Mike and Eve, Dee and Jeremy-Many=Names.  They were all great.  Mike and Jeremy are really fun dancers, especially Jeremy.  I danced with him twice and he likes to play.  That's so rare but fun.  Eve is very sweet, and Dee is just wonderfully sassy.  She taught us to groove, and I'll admit that I probably look like a total goof working my hips but I love it.  I need more groovy swing and blues.  And someone to dance with me to that music, but it would work alone.  We also got to watch the Heartland Hepcat and the Cowtown Cow hang out, dance, play Rock Band.  Good times.


Otherwise work is work.  I'm excited for Sunflower Swing, getting away for a little while, seeing my other grandpa, and maybe shopping?  I feel like I need something pretty to wear.  I love my new purple shoes (even if they cost me more than a pair of Aris Allens), and after learning from Mike, Eve, Dee, and Jeremy, I'm pretty psyched to keep learning dance.  I still love it.  I wish I had more time and money and ability to devote to it.  I fear the infamous game of Bases I went to over Memorial Day has done something to my leg.  Or it could be stress, I'm not really sure.  My left leg hurts, I do know that.  But yeah, more dancing.  Dance, dance, dance.  I don't know if I'll get to STL this summer, as I'd like to, but maybe I'll just save it up for Nevermore in November.


One never knows.


I wish I could dress and look more like Grace Kelly.  So glamorous, though I don't know if would do me much good.  I think I'll stick to being just me.  It's worked so far.

Oh, boy.  I think my family has hit their hospital quota for the year.  Can we please give it a rest?  My paranoia getting a little out of control worrying about it, which is exhausting.  And so I try to suppress it and not think about it, which oddly, is also exhausting.  So I'm exhausted, and this weekend's dancing combined with a two mile hike on the hunt for a two room apartment has also exhausted my feet.


But at least Cecily and I found some fun looking apartments and duplexes, and got some ice cream to burn off our exercise.  It stormed a lot last week, but I had more issues with allergies than anything else.  The humidity came up a LOT and it was also pretty warm, so it was a familiar atmosphere.  All I needed was some Imo's pizza, a sweat-soaked trip to the Gardens, and to run into somebody at just about any business in Webster, and it would've been just like being in STL.  Ah, well.  I read a quote today that I don't remember exactly, but it said in effect that we go back to our hometown to remember what it was like, but we're really searching for our childhoods.  I can get behind that.


I should find out when Diablo 3 comes out, because Eric will be busy, and won't notice if I go to STL for a weekend.  Though with all that's going on right now, I'm kind of afraid to go any further than his house.  Maybe across the river.  Ugh, enough with the stress.  It's making me erratic, and I can tell it's making me erratic because I get way too focused on little things these days.  I just want to let it go sometimes.  


Ugh, I am SUCH A SPAZ.


Maybe I'm the one who needs therapy.  It's been kind of a rough year.  But, like my other family members, we all don't believe things have been that rough.  I mean, things could be so much worse (not that I want it to be), but things could be harder.  I think we feel like life has just been taking its turn, and we shouldn't really complain.  My grandmother passed, but it was bound to happen (I don't think grandma was sitting on top of the fountain of youth, she was never vain like that, plus she believed devoutly in Heaven, and that's probably where she is right now.  Hopefully having a nice cocktail and listening to Ella Fitzgerald while chatting with St. Francis).  It doesn't really count as a tragedy.  I think my family has this unspoken feeling that because we haven't actually suffered a tragedy, we don't need therapy.  We would never look down on anyone who does, there's nothing wrong with it.  I just think we don't consider ourselves entitled.  Me personally, why should I take up some therapist's time, when there's probably someone out there who needs it way more than me for something awful that I don't really want to speculate on.


*sigh*  I don't know.  I just want to relax.  And for my shoes to be fixed already.  And to take a day off.  

I don't have a whole lot to blog about at the moment, I'm a little wound up at the present.  Nothing horrible, it's just hard to reflect on stuff.  However, I do bring you this humorous interlude as heard at my house:


Jack: "My knee hurts today."
Dad: "Does it feel like little people are moving around in it?"
Jack: "Yes, and they are trying to cause a revolt against me with other body parts."
Dad: "Is it your left knee?"
Jack: "It's my right."
Dad: "Well, then, it's probably not a Communist revolt going on there."






Wait for it.




Wait for it.










Did you get it?!  Oh, Dad.

Wowee, it has been a manic couple of weeks...again.  I seem to vacillate between being too busy to post or too bored.  Silly me.  Well, here we go.

At the beginning of the month, my grandma for whom I am named went into the hospital because she was having a lot of trouble eating and as much as I should state all the details, it's really hard to think about, so I'll skip to the end and say that after a week in the hospital and a lot of issues, she passed away.  It was sad, but I know she's in a better place, and my mom and her siblings and my grandpa made sure she was never alone, and she went away in peace with grandpa holding her hand, so I think it'll be okay.  I was a little annoyed that I found out via facebook...in fact I was pretty upset at the time, but I'm over that.  I'm more upset about my grandma being gone.  When I saw her laid out at her rosary, all I could think was that wasn't my grandma.  I mean, it was, but she didn't lie down like that, she was always active and alert and looking after all of us.  The pictures made me feel better, because that WAS my grandma.  I was sad, and I cried a lot at different times, certain things set me off, and I'm still sad when I think about how I won't be able to see her anymore, but I know she's at peace, and she's watching out for me, and all of us.  The priest made me very happy by calling her a lovely and gracious woman, because that is exactly what she was.

In the meantime, the rosary and funeral meant everyone would be gathered together, and even though I prefer weddings and baptisms and anniversaries, it was nice to see everyone.  I love my cousins.  And my cousin Matthew and his lovely wife Jayna let me play with their new little one, Janie Lou, which helped me get through a lot of the rosary.  My wonderful sister-in-law got me through the funeral.  I have a great family, and I have to admit that I'm pretty lucky.

Family news aside, I'm pretty lucky in other ways.  The job still treats me pretty well, though this new car management assignment is a bit too ambiguous for my taste, but I'm sure we'll figure it out.  I got my bonus and my raise, which is always the awesome part of the year.  I have to meet with the head cheese tomorrow (take that however you like), but I think it'll be okay, I just need to look nice and bring a notebook.  Jack and Heather had their birthdays, Jack liked his present, I still need to mail Heather's, but since she has yet to mail my Christmas present, we figure everything will get where it needs to go soon enough.

The other wonderful news is that I have a boyfriend now.  Eric asked me to make plans with him for Valentine's day, and for the first time in almost 27 years, I will have a date for that particular holiday.  He's also been supportive and sweet while I'm missing my grandma, and he plans to spoil me.  For the first week, it almost didn't feel real, since it was something I dreamt about so many times.  But it certainly seems to be happening, and I feel so happy I can't stop smiling sometimes.  I keep waiting for someone to come up to me and flick my ear and tell me to knock it off.  I just adore him, and I don't always feel like I deserve it, but apparently he does, so I will defer to him.  Expect to be totally annoyed by our cuteness.  I plan to make everyone vomit with sappiness.

Now go listen to "L-O-V-E" by Nat King Cole and feel the way I do.